Screwing up...

"Aaj fir se haaga yaar main"....:D

Such prophetic words these....so heres how htis one starts....I take this course calld networks fully knowing that I m in over my head this semester with work....well...probably not...but I like to think I m...and since this is my blog...lets humour me.....and the first assignmnt comes along ...I happily wait till 5 days before the submission to submit it ....arrognace in every capillary...but unfounded arrogance as it turns out.

I dont take a backup and as always get screwed with hours to go for the submission, a story that has repeated plagued my academic existence in the US... but I dont fucking care!!! Screw networks...screw operating systems....screw my masters....I have floyd...and yes " the show must go on"...

I am flying home this december and I really really have lots to say on that front...about friends ..about the city that never sleeps...about my mundane life back home that I soo crave for nowadays...theres this amazing phenomenon that I have observed in myself...I cave for home only wen alone....somehow work and the company of friends seem to alleviate the pangs of loneliness that I feel in these moments....howmuchever i deny it,...the networks assignmnt that I dint submit ...the subsequent "u'll do well on the other ones man coz....." makes me question my ablilities again...and all the crap that comes along with it....( I really dont want to go there again...pls read previous posts for loser entries on this issue! )

I wait for december to see my mom...to meet friends...although god knows wen i'll meet mayank and how weird it will b w/o him bac home...not having him come over after dinner...the characteristic honking of his car...runnign out with house keys in the middle of the nite and me snehal and mayank sitting in some remote corner of the colony "contemplating life"...w/o actually knowing what it is to "live"...those are times that have gone by too soon and ended too abruptly for all 3 of us...they have been pushd bac into the corners of my memory...some purposely coz times like these wen they come rushing bac make me feel immensely nostalgic and lost......

I often dont know y I write...I never seem to concentrate on ne one thing and keep penning tghts as they come into my head....this post too has had no meaning...or mayb it has some really deep meaning...saying that at some stage in my daily existenceI get time to sit bac and think abt how all said and done I am alone...that Im neither here( as in the US) nor home...n neither do I know which way I m going....I see frnds around me equally lost...some with problems far graveer than mine....but that isnt solace is it?

Decision time is around the corner....but I dont want to grow up...